A
- Available: Taken
- Age: 26 years
- Annoyance: Self Congratulation
- Animal: An even mix of adorable and ferocious
B
- Beer: Gimme, gimme, gimme
- Birthday: December 16th
- Best Friend: Alicia (girl), Andy (boy), Beer (liquid)
- Body Part on opposite sex: LEGS
- Been in Love: In love
- Been on stage?: Always on the cosmic stage
- Believe in Magic: Define magic...
- Believe in Santa: His name is Brad
C
- Candy: How could I forget her?
- Color: Black
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla
- Chinese/Mexican Food: An odd mix...I'll have a sweet and sour chicken enchilada
- Cake or pie: Pie, always
- Continent to visit: North America
- Cheese: Any and all
D
- Day or Night: Getting caught up in a night conversation so that I don't notice that it's suddenly morning
- Dancing in the rain: If by "dancing" you mean "running to get out of"
E
- Eyes: Brown
- Everyone's got: A monkey on their back
F
- First thoughts waking up: Will this be the last?
- Food: Seafood
G
- Greatest Fear: Death before readiness for death
- Goals: To do the best I can, to love without condition, to be kind, to know God
- Gum: All the time
- Get along with your parents?: Like old friends
H
- Hair Color: Dark brown
- Height: 6'2"
- Holiday: Christmas
- How do you want to die: With all those goals completed and realized
I
- Ice Cream: Green Tea
- Instrument: Jimmy Page and Neil Young's guitars, John Paul Jones' bass, John Bonham and Keith Moon's drums, Nick Cave and Elton John's piano
J
- Jewelry: Grandfather's Marine ring, eventual gold wedding band
- Job: Long past due for another
K
- Kids: 3 or more, someday
- Keep a journal: Trying to get back to it
L
- Love: Much love
- Letter: S, because without it my name would be Denni
- Laughed so hard you cried: When I tried to describe what a Dirt Shirt was to a couple perplexed friends
M
- Milk flavor: Milk flavored milk
- Movies: As long as I'm not in a movie theater with the general public
- Motion sickness?: That's what Dramamine is for
- McD’s or BK?: Give me Big Mac's or give me death
N
- Number: 13
O
- One wish: Motivation
P
- Pepsi/Coke: Beer
- Perfect Pizza: Casa Mia Chicken Pizza and Potato Truffle Pizza
- Piercings: No
Q
- Quail: Delicious
R
- Reason to cry: I'm sure there is
- Reality T.V.: Only ANTM and anything with Gordon Ramsey in it
- Radio Station: 790 AM and 870 AM
- Roll your tongue in a circle: I don't even understand the question
S
- Song: Lodi is the greatest song ever
- Shoe size: 11
- Salad Dressing: Blue Cheese
- Sushi: Anything
- Skinny dipped?: I think so
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Both
T
- Tattoos?: Skull and crossbones, raven
- Time for bed: When the time is right
- Thunderstorms: My favorite
U
- Unpredictable: Life
- Vacation spot(s): Where I can let my mind go
- Weakness: Name it
- Worst feeling: A bad hangover
- Wanted to be a model: A role model
- Worst Weather?: Sunny when you're down
X
- X-Rays: Saved my life
Y
- Yay or Yeah: Aren't they different?
Z
- Zoo animal: That tiger that killed those kids who were harassing him
Thursday, April 2, 2009
California 1
California!
once daughter of America, beautiful bundle of joy
endless destiny
Western fields of Heaven to the sea
then the sea
golden and filled with the sun
never so bright, bursting through all darkness and resting on the land
like dust rests on the furniture, filling all the cracks and groves of
a new daughter for the new country
but daughters grow old and die
California!
dead or killed?
or simply wandered off?
the soul leaving behind a smoggy shell
like the skin of a California snake
and the soul, naked
leaping into the sea
and swimming West
once daughter of America, beautiful bundle of joy
endless destiny
Western fields of Heaven to the sea
then the sea
golden and filled with the sun
never so bright, bursting through all darkness and resting on the land
like dust rests on the furniture, filling all the cracks and groves of
a new daughter for the new country
but daughters grow old and die
California!
dead or killed?
or simply wandered off?
the soul leaving behind a smoggy shell
like the skin of a California snake
and the soul, naked
leaping into the sea
and swimming West
Cold
cold
hung up, holed up apartment blues and sick with
cold
fever
stuffy head
but always with a stuffy head
and never knowing what to do
the music and crash of living
always making the mind stuffy
where do the sounds come from
where do they go
cold
and shivering under the blankets
existence blankets
childhood pillow
spirituality sheets
that I keep meaning to wash
under the pile of life
muffled human misery
having a
cold
is like
having
a humanity chain
holding you firm to the dusk of earth
hung up, holed up apartment blues and sick with
cold
fever
stuffy head
but always with a stuffy head
and never knowing what to do
the music and crash of living
always making the mind stuffy
where do the sounds come from
where do they go
cold
and shivering under the blankets
existence blankets
childhood pillow
spirituality sheets
that I keep meaning to wash
under the pile of life
muffled human misery
having a
cold
is like
having
a humanity chain
holding you firm to the dusk of earth
the end of all that
another man
not mad visibly
but maybe madness is just life anyway
and some of us babble
and some of us give lectures
he walks with his dog, and kind of dances a little
out of complications with the knees or hip?
or out of the soul?
I can see how life can be long
and I can see where life will seem short
If I am the last to go
It will seem as if everything was just yesterday
If I go first
It will be too painful to think about all the things that could have happened
hopefully, there won't being any time to think about them and it'll be
bang
and then the end of all that
not mad visibly
but maybe madness is just life anyway
and some of us babble
and some of us give lectures
he walks with his dog, and kind of dances a little
out of complications with the knees or hip?
or out of the soul?
I can see how life can be long
and I can see where life will seem short
If I am the last to go
It will seem as if everything was just yesterday
If I go first
It will be too painful to think about all the things that could have happened
hopefully, there won't being any time to think about them and it'll be
bang
and then the end of all that
Madman
madman
they're trying to kill you
cart along the pain carpet laid before you
toward a sudden turn left
another left
another left
a final left
and back by my window again
this is the kind of carpet that only gets higher with age and madness of memory
like a syrup of
never shoulda been born
a lava of
were you there when your mother died
a paste of
wondering what would happen if you just went right suddenly
a swamp of
wonder no more
they're trying to kill you
cart along the pain carpet laid before you
toward a sudden turn left
another left
another left
a final left
and back by my window again
this is the kind of carpet that only gets higher with age and madness of memory
like a syrup of
never shoulda been born
a lava of
were you there when your mother died
a paste of
wondering what would happen if you just went right suddenly
a swamp of
wonder no more
Writing Exercise #1
Writing exercise #1: Type, type, and just keep typing the first inclinations, the first inspirations, and keep going until tired, hungry, or pulled away, but not bored.
go
into dusk, tree-lined
cavernous soul
fight wind, sleet, blizzard, buzzard, meanness
lost boy
can't reach the tops of the palms
but only brush the sides
toppling through eternity to a ground of sorrow
pain
lost girl
sorry for the years of living against her mother
waiting for the smiling planets to align, but they are!
but not smiling
and the play by play of life coming through the front door of the cafe
some were stoned, and more were not, but were limp
and the new drug is a cell phone pressed against the ear
ah, euphoria
more human voices all the time!
suck it up
the president wants us to watch him all the time
until his image and voice are hypno-presidential
and we fall back into a lazy swoon
drag our lost boy and girl feet through Neverland and forget how to clap
unless to bring back the light of a leader
leaders are lost in the world too
and maybe more lost for thinking they're the leader
sounds
like
somebody
is
ready
for
another
golden tongued
jam session
hmm?
I'm ready for a dip in an ocean
any ocean, so long as it's warm and the water is blue
and the cars are silent
and the birds are distant
and the deep is forgotten
and the shore is visible
and the people on the shore are in slow motion
and the people on the shore are taking their lives seriously
that's all I am ready for right now
and probably tomorrow
but that will be filled with ho hum, and sad eyes
and busy people and managers
the same as all other tomorrows
people in tomorrows are branches in a storm
loud, and shuffling settled dirt and bugs off through the air in all directions
people in today are winding down
and people in yesterdays are angels
angelic, yet evolved muck creatures to themselves
how sad
that it is stupid to exalt in Creation
and smart to love Chaos
forget that it is order that gives us
yesterday, tomorrow, today
it is merely the creation of mind that allows mind to call
yesterday, tomorrow, today
man
woman
child
responsibility
relationships
past, present, future
love
longing
loneliness
haunted nights
ambitious days
hospitals
graves
wartime
peace of mind
childhood
study
lazy afternoons
drive
constant death
constant birth
family
journeys
failure
salvation
to call these
accidents
takes Creation
go
into dusk, tree-lined
cavernous soul
fight wind, sleet, blizzard, buzzard, meanness
lost boy
can't reach the tops of the palms
but only brush the sides
toppling through eternity to a ground of sorrow
pain
lost girl
sorry for the years of living against her mother
waiting for the smiling planets to align, but they are!
but not smiling
and the play by play of life coming through the front door of the cafe
some were stoned, and more were not, but were limp
and the new drug is a cell phone pressed against the ear
ah, euphoria
more human voices all the time!
suck it up
the president wants us to watch him all the time
until his image and voice are hypno-presidential
and we fall back into a lazy swoon
drag our lost boy and girl feet through Neverland and forget how to clap
unless to bring back the light of a leader
leaders are lost in the world too
and maybe more lost for thinking they're the leader
sounds
like
somebody
is
ready
for
another
golden tongued
jam session
hmm?
I'm ready for a dip in an ocean
any ocean, so long as it's warm and the water is blue
and the cars are silent
and the birds are distant
and the deep is forgotten
and the shore is visible
and the people on the shore are in slow motion
and the people on the shore are taking their lives seriously
that's all I am ready for right now
and probably tomorrow
but that will be filled with ho hum, and sad eyes
and busy people and managers
the same as all other tomorrows
people in tomorrows are branches in a storm
loud, and shuffling settled dirt and bugs off through the air in all directions
people in today are winding down
and people in yesterdays are angels
angelic, yet evolved muck creatures to themselves
how sad
that it is stupid to exalt in Creation
and smart to love Chaos
forget that it is order that gives us
yesterday, tomorrow, today
it is merely the creation of mind that allows mind to call
yesterday, tomorrow, today
man
woman
child
responsibility
relationships
past, present, future
love
longing
loneliness
haunted nights
ambitious days
hospitals
graves
wartime
peace of mind
childhood
study
lazy afternoons
drive
constant death
constant birth
family
journeys
failure
salvation
to call these
accidents
takes Creation
Searching
searching
the travelers
pitter patter down the sidewalk his arm outstretched
pointing down towards the next thing
the destination
tally ho
this thing is a journey
searching
for the creator
longing for He that created my longing
and He longing for my companionship
all the big bang boom crashing of the waves of all the Heavens
and all the history and wars and man and woman
all so that he would have a friend
we travelers
traversing the misty night
are these water drops or tears?
pushing against the darkness
which does not push back, but gives
and allows that stupid force
but that is the force of life
nothing is easy
we lie at the end
searching
for an easy way out
of being born
the travelers
pitter patter down the sidewalk his arm outstretched
pointing down towards the next thing
the destination
tally ho
this thing is a journey
searching
for the creator
longing for He that created my longing
and He longing for my companionship
all the big bang boom crashing of the waves of all the Heavens
and all the history and wars and man and woman
all so that he would have a friend
we travelers
traversing the misty night
are these water drops or tears?
pushing against the darkness
which does not push back, but gives
and allows that stupid force
but that is the force of life
nothing is easy
we lie at the end
searching
for an easy way out
of being born
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